441 | Do You Really Trust the Child? (What Landreth Teaches Us About Trusting Children)

Episode summary

In this episode, I return to the topic of limit setting, but this time I'm focusing on something even more foundational than the ACT process itself: trust. Drawing from a powerful email from a fellow CCPT and passages from Landreth's Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship, I explore how our underlying beliefs about children influence every decision we make in the playroom. Do we genuinely believe children are capable, competent, and trustworthy? Or do our reactions, expectations, and anxieties communicate that we don't actually trust them? I explain why limit setting is not simply about establishing boundaries, but about giving children opportunities to experience self-control, responsibility, and the power of their own choices.

I also unpack Landreth's reminder that limits should be delivered calmly, patiently, and with a genuine belief that the child can respond responsibly. When we rush to intervene, become visibly anxious, or try to control the outcome, we may unintentionally communicate that we expect the child to fail. Instead, I challenge therapists to make a deliberate choice to trust children, even when their behavior makes that difficult. Sometimes the most important thing we can do is remain calm, maintain the necessary boundaries, and allow the child to work through the moment. Trust isn't simply something we feel—it's something we choose to demonstrate. And that choice has the power to transform both our clinical practice and the child's experience of the therapeutic relationship.