438 | "Guess What?" How to Handle When a Child Insists That You Guess

Episode summary

In this episode, I answer a question about a familiar playroom dynamic: the child who constantly wants the therapist to guess. "Guess what I ate for lunch." "Guess what I built." "You have three guesses for what I did yesterday." I explain why these interactions can serve several different purposes, including connection, self-esteem, and power and control. In this particular case, the child's insistence on making the therapist guess appears largely driven by the experience of knowing something the therapist doesn't know—giving the child temporary power, control, and authority within the relationship.

I also walk through the delicate CCPT dance of responding without either immediately playing the guessing game or awkwardly refusing to engage. Simply reflecting over and over can create a reverse power struggle, so I share practical ways to "hem and haw," ask for clues, engage enough to honor the child's need, and—when necessary—offer a reasonable guess without taking over the interaction. This is one of those nuanced moments where adherence isn't about mechanically applying a skill; it's about understanding the why behind the child's behavior and responding in a way that remains genuinely child-centered.