425 | How to Coach Parents Through Severe Power Struggles

Episode summary

In this episode, I answer a question about helping parents whose child has gradually taken control of the entire home. When a child constantly interrupts conversations, makes relentless demands, or escalates until everyone gives in, it's tempting to focus on stopping the behavior. Instead, I explain why we have to begin by understanding what's driving it. I discuss how power and control needs, inconsistent boundaries, and fractured relationships can combine to create these patterns, and why lasting change starts by helping parents see their child through a different lens—not by teaching them a list of techniques.

I also walk through how therapists can coach parents to rebuild connection before focusing on behavior management. We explore why relationship always comes before skills, how giving children appropriate opportunities for choice and control can reduce power struggles, and why parents must be prepared for behaviors to intensify before they improve as new boundaries are established. This episode is a reminder that our greatest gift to parents isn't teaching them CCPT skills—it's helping them understand their child in a way that transforms the relationship.