397 | If Children Aren't Cognitive, Why Do Some Want to Sit and Talk?

Episode summary

In this episode, I answer a thoughtful question about how child-centered play therapy works if children are not yet capable of abstract reasoning. I explain the important distinction between children being able to memorize and learn information versus having the cognitive ability for true introspection, logic, and abstract thought. Drawing from Piaget's developmental framework, I discuss why children under approximately age 12–13 are primarily experiential and emotional learners, not cognitive processors in the way adults are. This is exactly why CCPT is so developmentally appropriate—it meets children where they are, rather than expecting them to function like miniature adults.

I also explore why some older children, especially ages 9–11, may appear reflective or want to sit and talk during sessions. While preteens begin developing more self-awareness and verbal sophistication, their primary mode of growth is still emotional and experiential. In CCPT, children heal not because they intellectually analyze themselves, but because they experience unconditional acceptance, emotional attunement, and relationship in a way that changes how they feel about themselves and others. This episode dives into the deeper "why" behind the model and reinforces why trusting development is essential to effective play therapy.