367 | Night Terrors, Adoption, and Age-Appropriate Truth

Episode summary

In this episode, I respond to a question about a six-year-old client with a history of early instability who has experienced recurring night terrors. I explain why night terrors are not always trauma-based and how frequency, intensity, and impact on daily functioning matter far more than the behavior itself. I also discuss why periods of regression—especially after significant gains—are developmentally normal and do not indicate a loss of progress or a return to earlier levels of anxiety.

I walk through how CCPT supports long-term regulation across environments and why, in this case, returning to co-sleeping is not necessary even during transitional stressors like starting a new school. I introduce the concept of "reverse Pandora's box," emphasizing that once a child has achieved internal regulation, they don't lose that capacity during temporary setbacks. Finally, I address questions about adoption disclosure and explain why age-appropriate truth, delivered with relational preservation as the priority, is the most ethical and developmentally sound approach as children grow and mature.