442 | When Parents Feel Kept in the Dark: Protecting Confidentiality in CCPT

Episode summary

In this episode, I answer a question about one of the more delicate aspects of child-centered play therapy: how do we protect a child's confidentiality while reassuring parents who are worried about being kept in the dark? When a child shares something significant with their therapist but hasn't told their parents, it's understandable that parents may feel hurt, confused, or concerned. I explain why we need to establish clear expectations from the very beginning about what we can and cannot disclose, including the distinction between discussing broad themes and progress versus revealing the specific details of a child's play or conversations. I also address mandatory reporting and how I approach communicating with parents when a report is required.

I also explore something that can completely change the way parents understand confidentiality: children often withhold information because they're trying to protect the people they love. When children sense that their sadness, fear, anger, or anxiety might overwhelm a parent, they may choose not to share those feelings. As therapists, our neutrality allows children to be vulnerable without worrying about how their emotions will affect us. I share how explaining this dynamic to parents can shift their perspective from feeling excluded or betrayed to appreciating that their child has a safe relationship where they can express what they may not yet feel comfortable sharing at home. Ultimately, protecting confidentiality isn't about keeping secrets from parents—it's about preserving the therapeutic relationship while continuing to partner with families.