Mastering the Art of Limit-Setting: The Power of the “Pause” in Offering Perfectly Aligned Choices

Apr 30, 2024

In this episode, we get into the fine details of limit setting in play therapy sessions. I emphasize the importance of the “limit setting pause” – a crucial moment where we take a beat to understand the child’s underlying emotions, needs, and motivations before setting a limit. By taking this pause, we can set limits and offer choices that truly resonate with the child’s “why”.

I share practical strategies to hone this skill, such as taking session notes to track the child’s play themes and emotions, and mental rehearsal – practicing limit setting scenarios in our heads during routine activities like driving or exercising. This mental practice allows us to explore different “whys” behind a child’s behavior and prepare effective reflections of feelings and appropriate choices.

Throughout the episode, I stress the significance of understanding the “why” behind a child’s actions, as it informs the choices we offer and ensures they align with the child’s original need or desire. By mastering this skill, we can set limits more effectively, maintain acceptance of the child, and create a safe and supportive environment for their therapeutic growth.

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References:

Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

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