Trusting the Child’s Innate Wisdom: Two More Core Principles of Effective Child-Centered Play Therapists

In this episode, I continue our summer school series on essential principles for effective play therapists. We explore two key principles from Garry Landreth’s “Innovations in Play Therapy”:

1. Being sensitive to the child’s feelings and reflecting them to foster self-understanding.

2. Believing deeply in the child’s ability to act responsibly and solve personal problems.

I discuss how these principles align with core child-centered play therapy skills, including reflecting feelings and returning responsibility to the child. We delve into the importance of serving as a bridge between a child’s emotions and cognition, and the value of trusting in a child’s innate drive towards growth. Throughout the episode, I emphasize the rewarding nature of this work and encourage fellow therapists to embrace the challenges of child-centered play therapy.

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​Essential Principles of Effective Play Therapy: Reflecting Feelings and Trusting the Child’s Ability

In our ongoing summer school series, we’re exploring the principles that reflect the essential personality characteristics of effective child-centered lay therapists, as outlined in Garry Landreth’s “Innovations in play therapy: Issues, process, and special populations” (2001.) Today, we’ll dive into principles four and five, which align closely with two of the four pillars of child-centered play therapy.

Principle 4: Sensitivity to the Child’s Feelings

The fourth principle states that the therapist is always sensitive to the child’s feelings and gently reflects those feelings in such a manner that the child develops self-understanding (Landreth, 2001.) This principle is at the core of our role as child-centered play therapists.

Bridging the Gap Between Heart and Head

Children live in their hearts, driven by emotions and consumed by the here and now. As therapists, our responsibility is to serve as a bridge between the child’s heart (emotions) and head (cognition). By reflecting their feelings, we provide a cognitive piece that connects to their emotional experience, allowing them to develop self-understanding.

The Power of Reflecting Feelings

Reflecting feelings is a powerful tool in play therapy. It not only builds an emotional vocabulary and self-control but also forms emotional intelligence. Most importantly, it creates a bridge between the cognitive and emotional aspects of a child’s experience.

Creating a Safe Space for Exploration

Adults rarely attempt to comprehend the subjective world of children. However, until that private world is accepted and understood, children are not free to explore, share their struggles, or change. As child-centered play therapists, we must listen intently to what is said, how it’s voiced, and what is left unsaid. We must pay attention to the messages communicated through activity and behavior.

Entering the Child’s World

To truly understand a child’s world, we must maintain a high level of emotional connection and participation. We act as a mirror, reflecting the child’s thoughts and feelings. This careful reflection allows the child to begin understanding their attitudes and perceptions, and in time, change them.

Releasing Our Own Reality

Sensitive understanding takes place to the degree that we, as therapists, can release our own reality and expectations and enter with appreciation into the world of the child. This requires a high tolerance for ambiguity, allowing us to enter the child’s world as a follower.

Principle 5: Trusting the Child’s Ability

The fifth principle states that the therapist believes deeply in the child’s capacity to act responsibly, unwaveringly respects the child’s ability to solve personal problems, and allows the child to do so (Landreth, 2001.)

Trusting the Child’s Inner Motivation

As play therapists, we believe that the child’s inborn motivation is toward health, independence, and self-actualization. We trust that given the opportunity, the child has the capacity within themselves to become more mature.

Fostering Problem-Solving Skills

Healthy children must be problem solvers. As therapists, we communicate an inner faith in the child’s ability to work out their own problems, to recover, and to adapt. This is why we provide choices, build esteem, and offer encouragement.

Allowing Independence

We see each child as important, capable, and dependable. We help children become independent by allowing them to assume responsibility for making decisions and choices. As therapists, we don’t try to make things happen or pressure the child to change. The decision to change or not to change behavior always remains with the child.

The Inevitability of Change

While it may seem that leaving the decision to change with the child could result in no progress, our understanding of self-actualization tells us otherwise. Given the right conditions – time, tools, opportunity, relationship, and environment – children will inevitably choose to change and grow.

These principles form the foundation of effective child-centered play therapy. They require us to be deeply present, emotionally attuned, and trusting of the child’s innate capacity for growth. While challenging, this work is incredibly rewarding. As play therapists, we have the privilege of witnessing and facilitating a child’s journey towards becoming the best version of themselves.

Remember, no one stays stuck in maladaptive behaviors if they have the right conditions for growth. By embodying these principles, we create the environment and relationship that allows children to move towards positive change and self-actualization.

Reference:
Landreth, G. L. (Ed.). (2001). Innovations in play therapy: Issues, process, and special populations. Brunner-Routledge.